My fear of windows and balconies

I know for myself that I am a mature and logical person. I am a realist. I don't know if it is justified that a grown-ass woman will be afraid of looking out the window at night. I always have this fear of looking through the windows at night. I can't even sleep if the curtains are drawn open. I always have this thought that somebody is peeking or worse somebody or something will pass by, like in our current house, windows are beside the balcony and I tend to imagine someone walking on the balcony and I can see it through my window. I also hate if beds are near windows. I don't know why I have this fear but I guess it all started when my uncle died a few years back.

I was around 10 or 11 that time. I can remember the exact year but I know the month, it was around December. I can't remember the exact occasion but my relatives from my mother's side were with us at home. My three uncles were drinking and my aunts were eating and chatting with my mom. My cousins and I, we were playing outside. Two of my uncles were working as drivers for a bank's armored truck. Those bullet-proof trucks are heavier than your regular trucks.

It is always been said that you shouldn't drink and drive. Unfortunately, two of my uncles learned that in the deadliest way possible. That night, the two of them drove one of the bank's armored vehicle out, which I guess if you think about it, should be against company policy. I am not sure if my mom or aunts knew what my uncles did or if they did know, they probably just ignored it. That night, both my uncles were involved in a road accident and one, died.

The story I am going to relay is what my uncle told us regarding what happened on that night. Both of them were tipsy. My youngest uncle being the driver and the elder one was sleeping on the passenger 's seat. Because my uncle was already tipsy and was getting sleepy, he lost control of the truck. It veered away from the road and drove themselves straight in grassy ditch beside the highway. My uncle who was driving, hit his head on the steering wheel and was drifting in and out of consciousness. My other uncle who was sleeping on the passenger seat, suddenly woke up because of the sudden impact, panicked. He opened the door and jumped out. The truck's placement on that ditch was unstable so it was rocking side to side, and then, it fell over. It fell over my uncle who jumped out. His lower half was pinned under the heavy armored truck. My other uncle can't remember who called the medics to the scene but all he remember was both them on the ambulance on the way to thenearest hospital. My uncle was pronounced dead while being treated in the hospital. He died due to punctured lungs and massive blood loss. His lower legs were severely crushed that the doctors need to amputate it because it can't be piece together anyway. My other uncle suffered from concussions and needed a number of stitches on his head and forearm where some glass shards fell.

So what does this accident got to do with my fear of windows and balconies? What I am about to tell you is my very first experience with the paranormal. On the night of the accident, my cousin and I were sharing a bed. That night I was woke up by a sudden pull on my foot, I felt someone grabbed my foot and pulled me down. My head was slowly falling off the pillow. I sleepily kicked my cousin and told her to not grab my foot. She grumbled it is not her. I fell back to sleep. Sometime around morning , my mom and aunt received the news about the accident that my two uncles were involved in and were also informed that one of them died. I didn't see my mom cried or anything, if she did, she didn't let us kids see or know. All we know is that our uncle died because of an accident that can be prevented.

On the week of the wake, our family stayed in my deceased uncle's home. We stayed there until his burial. His house is a two-storey house with a balcony overlooking the street below. To access the balcony, you will walk through a hallway beside the master's bedroom. In the master bedroom is a glass window were you can see the hallway and another window to see the balcony. All of my cousins and I were told to sleep in the master's bedroom since it was big enough to accommodate us all. I slept beside the window near the balcony. Since we have younger cousins, we slept with the lights on. The lights on the hallway and the balcony are turned off. I woked up by the sudden feeling that I was being watched. I don't know what time that was but I guess around wee hours in the morning. I glanced to the window and saw a man standing on his side by the window. He then walked by the window, seems like going to the door that opens to the hallway. I tried to see if he will go in and pass by the hallway. I have no feeling of fear that time but just genuine curiosity who was that man and where is he going. I must have falIen asleep while waiting for him to pass through the hallway because the next thing I remember it was already morning.

To be honest, I can't look at dead bodies inside a casket (and I still can't as of today) but that morning, I have the urge to look at my uncle's. He was wearing a white traditional "barong" (a traditional male garment made out of pineapple leaves) and black slack pants. It was the same clothes of the man I saw by the window. In my young mind, it didn't register to me that what I might have seen was a ghost, all I know that it was a weird dream, a dream that doesn't feel like a dream at all. When I got to my teen years, I just thought it might be a ghost but now, I just think it might be my subconscious mind playing tricks on me because I was on a half deep sleep and half awake state, if that is possible. Whatever the reason why I transitioned from deep sleep to half awake state, that I don't know. All I know now is that I can't sleep by the window, I can't look through the windows at night and always, ALWAYS, have my curtains drawn closed.

You know what is creepier than that, before my uncle died, he told my elder sister that he will be giving her a birthday present that she will never forget. He died three weeks before my sister's birthday. His gift was his casket.